As a kid, from the time I started to walk my parents put a pair of skates on my feet. I can’t remember a time where I didn’t know how to skate. I was a competitive speedskater (see: individual sport) but eventually lost the interest – as many teens do. As a teen, I hated physical education classes – especially team sports.
Fast forward to 2023. I had just taken a new job at the University of Wisconsin and a former MGHA board member, Bryan Zaramba, invited me to a work gathering of fellow LGBTQ+ staff, faculty and students at the Wisconsin School of Business. I had absolutely no intention of talking hockey and, come to think of it, couldn’t even tell you how we got on the topic of conversation. The gist is… Bryan said I should sign up for the Madison Gay Hockey Association. My response, “Seriously?!”
You see, I had plenty of horrible experiences in team sports as a kid – why on earth would I want to repeat those experiences as an adult. As Bryan and I talked, he told me the basics of the league. A league that caters to queer folks who, like me, may have had really awful experiences in school or team sports. That was the day my interest was piqued. I signed up for 2023 but as I soon found out, the league was full and I would have to wait until 2024.
When I received a recruitment email for 2024, I knew I wanted in! My husband and I were expecting the birth of our son in October of 2024 and I thought having an outlet to do something outside the house would be a good thing for all parties. Little did I know that, signing up for the league, I would be signing up not just for a team – but a community of people that I now consider some of my dearest, most cherished friends.
On my first day at MGHA, I had the opportunity to meet just a few of the amazing people who would become part of my new hockey family. My now teammate and good friend AJ sat next to me on the grass outside the ice rink. We both had never played hockey before. AJ explained that they had never skated. We hit it off right away and I knew then that if everyone was like AJ, this would be a lot of fun. But AJ is just one person… everyone can’t be like AJ, right?
It turns out everyone, in some way, was exactly like AJ. Everyone came to hockey for the same reason – to be a part of a community of like-minded people who wanted a safe place to learn something new, get physical exercise, or a chance to try and find that they could be successful in a team sport.
So, what does gay hockey mean to me? Madison Gay Hockey gave me the opportunity to find a part of myself that, for a very long time, I thought was off-limits. I know my limitations, especially when it comes to sports, and I thought I had no business playing a team sport – especially hockey. MGHA gave me a chance to prove to myself that coming to the rink, just as I am, is more than okay – in fact, it is celebrated.
MGHA has become such a strong part of my life that I literally tell everyone I know about it. Friends, co-workers, people I just met! I am beyond proud to play with an organization that celebrates people like me. The friendships I have had the opportunity to make are beyond anything I could have anticipated.
On October 11, my husband and I welcomed our son to the world. I had just met many of these new people from hockey and, surely, they wouldn’t want to hear me gush about my child. I was so wrong. Not only did they want to hear about my child, and see pictures of my child, but they wanted to celebrate with us. No matter how you look at it, that is a special community of people.
That’s what MGHA is to me. A beautiful community of people who simply wants the best for each other. Hockey just happens to be the device we use to come together as a league. To be sure, there is definitely competition… and there are some tough plays and even tougher hits (I can definitely attest to the latter) but at the end of the day, we aren’t a league that is just about hockey. We are a league that loves to see how people grow through that amazing (and, at times, slightly frustrating) vehicle that is hockey. While we may leave everything out on the ice during competition, the friendships, community and family stay with us in and out of the rink.